Serve & Return
Updated: Aug 3
The Power of Back-&-Forth Interactions
By Tamara Gonzalez-Scheulov, M.S., CCC-SLP
Before children use words, they first learn that communication is a two-way street.
Through back & forth interactions, babies and toddlers begin building the social communication skills that lay the foundation for conversation, language development, and relationships.
Serve and Return
Serve and return is one of the most important ways adults can support early communication development during the first years of life.
Serve and return is a term used to describe the natural back-and-forth of early communication. Just like a game of catch, your child “serves” with a look, sound, gesture, or action. You “return” by responding (i.e., smiling, commenting, imitating, or acting).
These moments are critical for brain development, social-emotional growth, and early language learning. According to the Harvard Center on the Developing Child, serve-and-return interaction helps build the brain’s architecture during the most rapid period of growth - ages 0 to 3.
Many of the most powerful opportunities for back and forth communication happen naturally during play, daily routines, and shared moments. Below are simple ideas you can use throughout the day.
Tip 1: Use Everyday Routines
Everyday routines are full of opportunities to connect. The examples below are just a few possibilities. Any moment that involves turn-taking, shared attention, and responsive interaction can help build your child’s communication skills.
Dressing: Pause and let your child “help” by lifting arms, putting on shoes, or anticipating what comes next.
Mealtime: Take turns labeling foods, clinking cups, or pretending to “cheers.” Wait for a look or sound before offering a bite.
Diapering or Bath Time: Sing a familiar song or play peek-a-boo with a towel. Narrate what you’re doing and pause to let your child respond.
Cleaning Up: Make a game of passing toys into a bin - "Your turn... my turn!" or saying "bye, bye" to the toys. Celebrate each exchange.
Tip 2: Create Play Routines
Play routines are simple, predictable activities that happen the same way each time. Because children know what to expect, they begin to anticipate what comes next and are more likely to participate, take turns, and communicate.
These routines create natural opportunities for back-and-forth interaction, helping children learn the rhythm of conversation long before they are using words consistently. Below are a few simple play routines you can try at home.
Peek-a-Boo: This is a simple play routine that helps build shared attention, anticipation, turn-taking, and early communication skills. Try different variations and see which ones your child enjoys most.
Row, Row, Row Your Boat: Songs with predictable actions and pauses encourage children to participate and take turns. Pause at familiar moments and wait to see how your child responds with a look, smile, gesture, movement, or sound.
Ball Rolling or Object Exchange: Rolling a ball, sliding a toy car, or passing objects back and forth creates a simple turn-taking routine. Use phrases such as "my turn," "your turn," "go," and "stop" to help your child understand the flow of interaction.
Mirror Play: Copy your child's movements, facial expressions, or sounds, then pause and wait. These playful exchanges encourage social imitation, shared attention, and back-and-forth interaction.
Puppet or Stuffed Animal Play: Puppets and stuffed animals can make turn-taking feel playful and engaging. Use them to greet your child, ask simple questions, or act out everyday routines while pausing to give your child an opportunity to respond.
Tip 3: Sing Familiar Songs
Songs are one of the easiest ways to create back-and-forth interaction. Their predictable rhythm, repeated words, and familiar actions help children learn to anticipate what comes next and encourage them to participate.
By pausing during a favorite song and waiting expectantly, you create opportunities for your child to take a turn with a sound, gesture, movement, facial expression, or word.
The Wheels on the Bus: Pause after "The wheels on the bus go ..." to see if your child fills in a sound, gesture, or action.
Old MacDonald Had a Farm: Wait for your child to choose or imitate the animal sounds.
Open, Shut Them: Use hand gestures and pause before “open shut them…” to build anticipation.
If You’re Happy and You Know It: Clap hands or stomp feet. Model first, then pause and watch for your child to respond.
Itsy Bitsy Spider: Great for combining hand motions and pauses in a predictable routine.
Tip 4: Use Interactive Books
Picture Books That Support Turn-Taking 
Picture Books That Support Turn-Taking 
Picture Books That Support Turn-Taking 
Picture Books That Support Turn-Taking 
Picture Books That Support Turn-Taking 
Picture Books That Support Turn-Taking 
Picture Books That Support Turn-Taking
Look for interactive, repetitive, and/or lift-the-flap books that naturally invite participation. You don’t need to read the words verbatim. You can describe the pictures, make comments, or simply pause and wait.
Some great books to try:
Dear Zoo by Rod Campbell
Where’s Spot? by Eric Hill
Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? by Bill Martin Jr. & Eric Carle
From Head to Toe by Eric Carle
Goodnight Gorilla by Peggy Rathmann
We're Going on A Bear Hunt by Michael Rosen
Five Little Monkeys by Eileen Christelow
Why Serve and Return Matters
These back-and-forth exchanges lay the foundation for intentional communication. Serve and return doesn’t need to be scripted or planned. What matters most is being present, responsive, and giving space for your child to take a turn, even if that “turn” is a look, a grin, or a tiny sound.
Additional Resources
Learn more about serve and return with this simple parent guide from the Harvard Center on the Developing Child.
About the Author
Tamara is the owner of Little Chatterbox, LLC and an SLP with experience across early Intervention, private practice, and school-based settings. Tamara's approach combines evidence-based practice with play, connection, and family-centered coaching.
References
Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University. (2021). Serve and return. https://developingchild.harvard.edu/science/key-concepts/serve-and-return/
Del Rosario, C., Hutman, T., Rozga, A., & Messinger, D. (2023). Parent-child interaction and developmental outcomes in children with typical and elevated likelihood of autism. Infant Behavior and Development, 71, 101830. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.infbeh.2023.101830
Komanchuk, J., Letourneau, N., Duffett-Leger, L., & Cameron, J. L. (2023). History of “serve and return” and a synthesis of the literature on its impacts on children’s health and development. Issues in Mental Health Nursing, 44(5), 406–417. https://doi.org/10.1080/01612840.2023.2192794
Hudson, S., Levickis, P., Down, K., Nicholls, R., & Wake, M. (2015). Maternal responsiveness predicts child language at ages 3 and 4 in a community‐based sample of slow‐to‐talk toddlers. International Journal of Language & Communication Disorders, 50(1), 136–142. https://doi.org/10.1111/1460-6984.12129
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Topping, K., Dekhinet, R., & Zeedyk, S. (2013). Parent–infant interaction and children’s language development. Educational Psychology, 33(4), 391–426. https://doi.org/10.1080/01443410.2012.744159
Weitzman, E., & Greenberg, J. (2002). Learning language and loving it: A guide to promoting children’s social, language and literacy development in early childhood settings (2nd ed.). The Hanen Centre.
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